


Loss of Trust

by SmileyTwee



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Age Play, Alcohol, Alternate Universe - High School, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Artist Zayn, Artsy, Blow Jobs, Cock Tease, Confusing, Daddy Kink, Deepthroating, Denial of Feelings, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Friendship, Graphic Description, Harry is the best, High School, Kink Negotiation, Lace Panties, Liam rapes Louis, Losing friends, Loss of Trust, Louis in Panties, M/M, Multiple Orgasms, Needing Help, Nipple Play, Pain, Photography, Rape, Riding, Secrets, Self-Harm, Sleepless nights, Teacher Ben, Teacher James, Teacher Lou, Triggers, being scared, but only for a really short time, kinky zayn, making stupid decisions, niall is an idiot, pinning, psychiatric ward, talking about problems, trying to suppress feelings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-25
Updated: 2016-06-27
Packaged: 2018-07-18 05:07:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7300744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SmileyTwee/pseuds/SmileyTwee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Do you think one could consider it rape?”<br/>Louis looked up abruptly. The shaking was so bad now, his whole body was trembling. He had tried to avoid this word, hadn't even thought about it at all. But now that Mr. Corden had said it … It was standing in the room like a fucking elephant, looking at him accusatory and so so wrong. It seemed so wrong to use this word. It was something that only happened to other people. Not to Louis. And most certainly not by Liam, his friend. But still … somewhere deep inside of him he found the power to nod and breath out a very soft “Yes”.</p><p>OR Liam raped Louis. Harry is the friend who tries to help. Niall is an idiot, Zayn is kinky and Louis asks his teachers for help.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> One Direction doesn't belong to me and I don't want to hurt anyone with my stories.
> 
> PLEASE READ THE TAGS BEFORE YOU START READING!!!!!

It was quite late, Louis and Liam were sitting on Louis bed. Talking. Louis was tired but didn't really want Liam to leave just yet. He was in a weird mood. Didn't want to be alone. He felt quite small, vulnerable somehow. He had now idea where that feeling was coming from, just knew that it was creeping its way through his veins.  
“You okay, Lou?” Liam wanted to know. He looked mildly concerned but obviously noticed Louis wasn't happy. Of course Liam did. They were friends for so long now and Louis knew Liam had a crush on him even. To Louis though, it was only friendship and these feelings would never change. He had told Liam so about a thousand times, but to no avail. Liam didn't want to believe it. And it was Louis own fault. They had shared to nights together after all, had slept with each other when the sexual frustration had gotten too much. It had been stupid, nothing romantically and Louis had made clear to Liam that these slip-ups wouldn't change his feelings. Liam had said he understood and that it didn't matter. He still wanted it to happen again.  
So Louis wasn't really surprised when Liam's hand found its way onto his meaty thigh. Liam rubbed it over the grey sweatpants Louis was wearing. “Are you sad, Lou?” He asked and Louis just shrugged.  
He wasn't really in the mood for touching. Or … no, he wasn't really in the mood for anything. He grumbled and hit his face in the pillow. Liam's and slid higher, up to Louis' waist.  
“Louis? Do you want me to be your Daddy?” Liam whispered into Louis ear. The smaller one flinched. What? Had Liam really just said that? It wasn't like their sex had been especially normal so far. It had been kinky, with a bit of biting and Louis riding Liam. Louis even had to tell Liam to stop and slow down once, the bigger one hurting him a bit since he wasn't exactly small. It should have been an alarm signal to Louis back then, when Liam didn't listen and just went on with it instead. And it should have been an even more significant alarm signal when Liam had told him afterwards that the begging had turned him on 'so much'. Louis however hadn't paid more attention to it. After all he hadn't really been hurt and he had been tired anyway.  
This time though, he was really confused when Liam offered himself to be Louis' Daddy. They had never talked about it before. And even though Louis would have really liked for someone to act like his 'Daddy' right now and take care of him, tuck him in and cuddle him … he didn't want that person to be Liam. So he shook his head and scooted away.  
“Louis, c'mon. I'm horny, yeah?” Liam didn't really seem to care that Louis wasn't in a good mood at all. He wasn't normally like that. Louis frowned. What was going on?  
“I'm not in the mood.” Louis mumbled and tried to turn away but Liam stopped him. He was suddenly hovering over him, his pelvis pressing into Louis'.  
“Lou, come on. Let me fuck you. You don't have to do anything. I know you're tired.” Liam tried to kiss him but Louis quickly turned his head away.  
“Liam, what the fuck? I really don't want to.” He said halfheartedly but Liam really didn't seem to care. At all!  
He let his hands explore Louis' dainty figure, his fingers slipping under the smaller one's shirt and he started nibbling on his friend's neck.  
“Liam ...” Louis whined, but the man just kept going. Louis was so tired. Why was he so tired? And so idly? Why wasn't he moving, or pushing him of? Why did he stop complaining? He didn't want Liam to touch him. He didn't want to sleep with his friend. But he felt so weird, as if he weren't really here. As if he was in a different space inside of his head. But why? What the heck was going on?  
“Where are the condoms?” Liam asked and Louis even nodded in the right direction. He really did that. He told Liam where the condoms are. That was an invitation, kind of. What was wrong with him?  
Liam sat up and quickly got the condoms from the nightstand. Louis was just about to sit up as well and get off the bed, when Liam was lying on top of him again. Suddenly the hands were back, forcefully this time. His shirt was being pushed up and Liam's fingers fondled with Louis' small nipples. Out of a sudden, the life came back into Louis' limbs again and he started moving. His hands found Liam's shoulders and he tried to push him off, but the lad was too heavy.  
“Don't worry, Louis. I'll take good care of you.” Liam whispered and pulled the smaller one's shirt completely off. Louis tried to turn away again. He wreathed on the bed, tried to free himself from the heavy body on top of him but he simply couldn't. No matter what he tried, Liam was too strong.  
“Liam! Stop it!” He pleaded but the taller one didn't listen. Instead his hands where on Louis' pants now and he managed to yank them down in one smooth motion. Together with Louis' underwear.  
NOW … Louis panicked. He didn't want this. He didn't want Liam to touch him, or to see him naked even. Not now. Not today. Not when he was in a mood like this and especially not after telling him to stop.  
“Please stop it, Liam! It don't want to! Just stop it!” He pressed out, his voice distorted by fear and anger.  
“Shh, it's okay, Louis. I'll make you feel good. I'll take good care of you, I promise.” And with these words Liam turned him around. Everything was so weird. It happened so fast, Louis couldn't grasp it. How could they go from casually talking to this in under fifteen minutes? How? And why?  
Louis tried desperately to crawl away. The bed was moving beneath him, he heard Liam undress and the fear got the better of him. He wanted to scream, but he couldn't.  
Then there were hands on his bum, huge hands groping him. Hands that have been there before but they've never felt like this. They weren't welcome, they weren't wanted. They were disgusting and unpleasant. Louis feared he would get sick.  
“Liam, please. I don't want to. Please, don't.” He begged again and without properly realising it he started sobbing as well. He was so scared.  
“Louis, everything is alright. I'm here. Everything's okay.” Liam really tried to hush him right now. Louis couldn't believe it. What was Liam even talking about? Why was he like this? He was so different normally. And now he was saying things completely out of context. Almost as if he didn't want to understand that Louis was crying because of him. And that the last thing that Louis wanted right now was for Liam to be there for him!  
There was a finger prodding his entrance now, dry, without any sign of lube. It hurt already, even though Liam wasn't really doing anything yet. Louis again tried to wriggle away but it was still not working. Then the finger was being pushed inside. Hard, unpleasant and painful. Louis choked on his breath and a louder sob escaped his lips. “No. Ow you're hurting me. Please, please stop.” He croaked out. Liam just kept going.  
A second finger was being pushed inside and then a second. No matter how hard Louis was trying to push Liam off of him, to free himself and make it stop … it was useless. Liam wasn't deterred.  
Then the fingers disappeared, leaving Louis' hole open and hurting, Louis couldn't take it anymore. It was his last chance, he knew it, but he still couldn't do anything to stop his friend. He started crying properly. Heart-wrenching cries leaving his body and he flailed around, trying to hit Liam somehow and preventing him from doing the inevitable.  
Then, with full force, he was being pushed into the mattress again and there was something prodding his hole. Something far wider than a finger, and thankfully much more slippery. Without anymore hesitation the lube-coated dick was being pressed inside of Louis' sore hole. It hurt as hell and it wasn't only the physical pain, it was also emotionally. Louis didn't want it and he had really made it clear, but obviously it wasn't enough. He just gave up fighting and only begged the tall man for mercy. “It's hurting, Liam. I mean it. Please stop. I really mean it. I don't want it. I really don't.”  
Liam just shoved his dick inside even deeper, even harder. He was groaning over the broken man on the bed and indulged completely in the pleasure. After what felt like forever to Louis, Liam slipped out of him, giving him a sliver of hope, turned him around and then … entered him again. Louis' face was wet from all the tears as he lay there, taking it, sobbing and hurting. He had no idea for how long Liam was using him for pleasure but when he finally collapsed on the small man beneath him, Louis was broken. He still couldn't grasp it, just wanted it to end. Wanted everything to end. He felt so disgusting. Liam stayed like this for a while until he finally pulled back.  
“Don't cry, Louis. I'm here, everything's okay.” He said again and Louis turned away. He curled in on himself, stared at the all and just wanted to disappear. He was being wrapped into a blanket, his favourite stuffy (from when he was a child) was being put beside him and then Liam was just sitting behind his friend.  
“Just go, please.” Louis pleaded. He had no idea why Liam was so nice again. Not after what he had done. But he was too tired and too worn out to talk right now.  
“You can't just let me go like this. Please, Louis. You can't do that to me.” Now Liam was pleading and Louis was just confused.  
“Please, leave.” He croaked out, still crying and after several minutes passing, Liam was finally standing up from the bed and leaving.  
Louis just lay there, not moving. After some time he stopped crying, calmed down and in the early morning hours he finally managed to stand up, go shower and change the bedsheets. Then he finally fell into a light slumber, haunted by nightmares and fear.


	2. Chapter 2

Louis was still very tired when he walked to school the next day. His legs and bum where hurting and he still felt so disgusting. He couldn't grasp what had happened last night. It was so surreal. Liam was his friend after all. He wouldn't do something like that, would he? He wouldn't touch him against his will or … even more.  
Louis shook his head and took a shaky breath, trying to get rid off the haunting memories. He entered the school at half past eight. It was a Wednesday, a bridge day, and the only reason he had to come today was that he still had to do a demonstration in PE. He absolutely wasn't looking forward to moving right now. But he needed a good mark. His head was still a bit foggy and he couldn't even master a smile when he greeted his PE teacher Mr. Corden.  
“Good morning, Louis, you ready?” The teacher asked and smiled kindly. Louis just nodded and avoided eye contact. He didn't even notice the worried look Mr. Corden gave him.  
“Alright then, I see you're already wearing your sportswear so you don't need to get changed, yeah? Can go right to the gymnastic hall then.” He still sounded cheerful but Louis just nodded again, apathetically.  
Together they went to the gymnastic hall, Mr. Corden ranting about his favourite comedian and Louis not even trying to listen. His head was still swimming and he felt like drowning in his thoughts. He knew his eyes were constantly watering even though he still didn't understand what had actually happened to him. He dragged his feet ponderously, it was difficult to keep in step with his teacher.  
Mr. Corden unlocked the doors to the gymnastic hall and hold them open for his student. Louis walked past him without a word. He still didn't take notice of Mr. Corden's frowning, just proceeded further until he was standing in the middle of the hall.  
“Good, you know what to do, right? Just do your thing and I'll give you the mark right afterwards. Shouldn't take too long.”  
Louis wasn't exactly a fan of gymnastics but right now he didn't even care. They had practiced what to do in their lessons previously but Louis hadn't attended the demonstration. He had been lying in bed with a headache. So now was his time to present.  
He just started moving, without thinking too much and not really concentrated, but he always had a good body demeanour so it wasn't too difficult for him. He finished his presentation with a smooth roll and stood up again. He was still avoiding eye contact with his teacher and now he really had to hold back the tears. He was just so tired. He wanted to sleep. He wanted to understand what had happened but he just couldn't.  
“That was good, Louis. I'll give you a B+ for that. You were a bit concentrated, but still managed quite well.” Mr. Corden smiled at him and stepped a tad closer. “Are you alright, Louis?” He asked and sounded deeply concerned.  
Louis shook his head hesitantly. The first tear rolled down his cheek and he turned his head away.   
“Do you wanne talk about it?”  
Louis shrugged. Mr. Corden sighed and nodded slowly. “Alright, c'mon. Let's go and find a place to sit and talk, yeah?”  
Louis didn't answer. He just trotted slowly behind his teacher. They left the gymnastic hall and passed the break hall. Mr. Corden led them into the staff room and pointed at chair, indicating Louis to sit down in front of the teacher. Louis let himself fall onto the seat. He felt so heavy, so disgusting still. He stared onto the tablet top, not daring to meet his teacher's eyes just yet.  
“So Louis, tell me, what's wrong? Did anything happen?” Mr. Corden asked carefully and Louis nodded. He sniffled quietly and sucked his bottom lip into his mouth.  
“Can you tell me, Lou?” Mr. Corden wanted to know and Louis shrugged.  
He opened his mouth, then shut it only to open it again. “Liam touched me. Last night. He did … stuff.”  
His voice sounded hoarse and shaky. He started chewing on his lip and kneed his hands in his lap.  
“What do you mean, he did stuff?” The teacher sounded alarmed.  
“He … you know. He did things … with me.”  
“Sexually-wise?”  
Louis nodded. He started shaking all over. He felt so uncomfortable. He didn't like talking about it, couldn't even put it in words properly. He felt like he was doing Liam injustice by telling, by ratting him out. But he just wanted to understand. He wanted someone to tell him that he didn't do anything wrong himself, that it wasn't his fault.  
“Did you want it?” The teacher asked empathetically.  
“No.” Louis croaked out and the shaking increased. He was feeling hot and cold all over and he wanted to run, but he also wanted to talk about it. Goosebumps where forming on his body and he was breaking into a sweat.  
“Oh God, Louis. He touched you against your will? Did you tell him that you didn't want it?”  
Louis finally looked up. His eyes met Mr. Corden's and then he quickly averted them again. “Yes. I told him.”  
“And he still didn't stop?”  
“No.”  
Mr. Corden took a very deep breath. His cheeks were filling with air and he shook his head unbelievingly, stunned.  
“How far did it go?” He wanted to know and Louis shrugged again.  
“He didn't stop.”  
“You mean … at all? How far did he go?” The teacher had to ask this, Louis know, since he wasn't really talking. He couldn't talk. It was so hard.  
“He … to the end.” He whispered and Mr. Corden looked dumbstruck. He seemed to be really careful while forming his next question.  
“Do think one could consider it rape?”  
Louis looked up abruptly. The shaking was so bad now, his whole body was trembling. He had tried to avoid this word, hadn't even thought about it at all. But now that Mr. Corden had said it … It was standing in the room like a fucking elephant, looking at him accusatory and so so wrong. It seemed so wrong to use this word. It was something that only happened to other people. Not to Louis. And most certainly not by Liam, his friend. But still … somewhere deep inside of him he found the power to nod and breath out a very soft “Yes”.  
Mr. Corden seemed livid and kind of overwhelmed. “You really made clear that you didn't want to … have sex with you? And he still did it?”  
“Yes.” Louis made again and Mr. Corden didn't seem to know what to do really.  
“Okay, uhm. Do you want to go to the police? I could come with you, Lou. I can help you.” The teacher suggested but Louis quickly shook his head.  
“No! No. He's my friend. Liam is my friend, I can't do that to him!” What was the teacher thinking. He couldn't rat out his friend to the police for something like that. He couldn't. He was sure Liam actually didn't want to do what he did. Maybe everything was just a big misunderstand. He wanted to believe that. He really did, but deep inside his head was a voice telling him that there hadn't been anything to misunderstand. He had said no, after all. He had even started crying and thrashing around. He had tried to push Liam off of him and had begged him to stop. Who would misinterpret that?  
“Louis, is he really still your friend after what he did? No friend does that. I think you really should tell the police.” Mr. Corden tried to convince him but Louis was stubborn.  
“NO! I'm not going to the police. And you won't either. I don't want anyone to know.”  
The teacher shook his head. He seemed to contemplate whether he could fill a record on his own but then obviously decided against it. “Okay, listen, Louis. I could take you to some kind of psychologist so you can talk about it if you want. It's a place especially for people like you where they can get more information and help. No one would no. It's like a first aid station for rape victims. I can go there with you or you can take a friend if you want. Or both.”  
Louis had to think about it, but it didn't sound as bad as the police after all. The only problem was that he didn't want to go there alone with the teacher. He would have to tell someone else. Harry maybe. He and Niall were his best friends after all and he really trusted them. But Niall was in his and Liam's class and he didn't really want him to get involved in this just yet. Harry, who was visiting a different school, seemed like the better option.  
“Okay. Okay, yeah, but can you come with me then? And I'll ask Harry, he's one of my best friends.”  
“Of course, Louis. Whatever you need. And … do you think I should maybe talk to Mr. Ross so we can make sure that Liam won't sit next to you during your exams?” It was a suggestion Louis didn't even have to think about.  
Right now he couldn't even concentrate when he was only thinking Liam's name. What would it be like then sitting next to him? “Yes. Please. But … don't talk to anyone else, okay?”  
“Sure, Louis. Promise.” Mr. Corden smiled and started searching for a notepad. He then quickly wrote something down and handed it over to Louis. “Here. This is my mobile number. You can call me whenever and we can find a date to go to the … psychologist. Alright?”  
Louis took it thankfully and nodded. “Thank you, Sir.”  
“Don't worry about it.”  
It was a bit awkward now and Louis really wanted to be alone. He needed to be alone with his thoughts for a while and really wanted to get that itch off from his skin … or from under his skin, more like. He didn't know what to do about it, but he was sure he would find something. He still felt like it was kind of his fault though … everything that had happened in the last few hours. And know he even felt kind of bad for telling someone, for betraying Liam, even though it had helped a little bit. It still felt wrong. He really needed to get out of here for now. The anxiety was slowly kicking in.  
“I – I should go home, Sir. I bet my Mum's already waiting for me.” He sputtered and the teacher nodded understandingly.  
“Of course, Lou. Take care, yeah? And call me if there's any problem or you just want to talk.”  
Louis smiled halfheartedly and stood up. He looked back at his teacher for a moment and mumbled a “Thank you”. Then he quickly left the staff room and the school behind. He just really needed to be alone now. The guilt was flooding his veins and he really wanted to cry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And again I'm really thankful for whatever you leave behind. Kudos, comments, bookmarks, whatever ... I like them all :)

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave comments, kudos or whatever you have :)


End file.
